no, No, NO!

First of all, SORRY for the giant all o' text that was my last post! I didn't realize until much later that what I had probably given you was nothing more than a migraine. :(  Lesson learned....that was a big fat NO!

Also, in the big fat NO category was my HPT this morning.  As I mentioned, today was test day for me.  I am really beyond the point of expecting anything anymore, but I still allow myself to hope just a little bit. And then the same thing happens every.single.month......BFN. And then I am pissed at myself for hoping.  I feel like the damn  test is screaming at me:

And this is how I feel........

And later I will be like.......

And then most likely, tomorrow I will be like......

And then we start the whole cycle all over again. Last time we talked about it, DH and I decided that we would proceed with IUI in August, or two cycles after I start working, whichever came first. In the back of my mind, I was hoping that it would happen without getting to that point...and maybe it still will.  My RE was ready to do IUI two cycles ago, but DH wanted to keep trying on our own, and I was ok with that for the time being. Now, here we are about to kick off cycle 15/month 18, and I am ready to move on. 2 more cycles.......