5/31/12 Czyk List

Clean my apartment
Put together an outfit for the White Party
Walk the dog
Finish reading Pride and Prejudice
Figure out if liposuction is in the budget
Lunch with friends
Find a way to get Bieber tickets

Oy. My apartment is COVERED in dog hair. Yes, I realize that this is absolutely disgusting. It does not negate the fact that I vacuumed every square inch only 3 days ago, and that my dog produces fur like he is getting paid for it. While watching Hatfield's and McCoy's the other day, a gigantic dog-fur tumbleweed came rolling accross the floor, and for a moment it all seemed fitting and acceptable.....and then the show ended and it was just gross again. :(

This weekend my friend K and her roommates are hosting a P-Diddy style white party. (See picture for reference).  The only rule, is that you can only wear white. Since white tends to visually add poundage, I tend to stay far away from it. So I have a choice.....either buck up, wear white, and come to the party, OR stay at home on a Saturday night.  Thus....I am on a mission to find some white attire......

Also on the agenda today is a lunch with friends from my former job. The job that I wish I could erase from my memory completely. I love the people that I worked with, but I hate that we are bonded by what has been for most of us a horrible life experience that we were forced to prolong either by necessity or fear, or lack of other options. Sorry to pull the trump card, but this job was hands-down the WORST job I have ever had, or ever heard of anyone having, and the memory of it still makes me develop migraines and hives. :(  So, I am going, and hoping that the job-that-shall-not-be-named does NOT come up during the course of our lively conversation.

Sorry that today's post has become even more of a random playlist of things that people do not at all care about. Should I also tell you that I have sunburn on my shoulders? My nail polish is chipping?  I need to shave my legs?  All enthralling information, I am sure.  Bottom line is that I cannot possibly produce a worthy czyk list everyday, because my life is simply not that interesting. In fact, the most interesting thing about my morning so far, is that I realized not only that I was out of coffee creamer, but that I was able to actually finish a cup of black coffee with a little bit of sugar. I wish I were proud of that, but I am ashamed. Grown ups drink black coffee, and I'll be damned if I get lumped into that category. :(  

So my goal is to create an overall czyk list of things that I want to accomplish over time, and check them off as they occur. If anyone has any ideas of what to add, feel free to contribute.  Some of my ideas thus far:

  *  Go red (haircolor that is)

  * Rock a bikini

  *  Visit Seattle

  *  Go to dinner ALONE

  * Have an epic celebrity sighting

  *  Actually wear my Oscar de la Renta heels out somewhere

More to come.....coffee still kicking in......list still in development.  As I said, I am also open to suggestions!

5/28/12 Czyk List

I have been AWOL, but with good reason.  My roommate from college was in town for the weekend, and we had lots of activities planned. Sidebar: everytime I hear the word "activities" I think of the movie Step Brothers and doing karate in the garage. 

In any case......I had so much freaking fun, I have spent all day today recovering.  Yesterday we went on a champagne brunch cruise on a schooner on the Hudson.  We spent a few hours cruising out past the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, while sipping on mimosas and taking in an absolutely amazing day. Being on the water is my "happy place." 

Later in the evening we decided we wanted to go to a rooftop bar, so my friend could take in some views of the city. On our walk through midtown, we decided to stop at Joe Fresh, which is a clothing store that just opened. It was near closing time and the staff were really awesome. Like we could have been friends in real life. The music was banging, we were the only people in the store, and it became obvious that we needed to have a walk-off.  For those of you that don't know, a  walk off is like a dance-off that occurs on an imaginary runway of sorts. I went first. I wasn't totally in the groove, but I pulled out a few moves reminiscent of Saturday Night Fever and was not too disappointed with my performance.  My friend K followed, and admittedly had superior moves.  It was like a combo of MJ and Chris Brown rolled into one.  I should note that at this point, the collective staff had gathered around both levels of the store to watch the walk-off. I am not exaggerating when I say it was about 30 people all around the balcony and main floor. The pressure was on. K's roommate E TOTALLY threw down.  It was amazing.  She pulled out the moonwalk, the side-moonwalk and the worm and it was totally effortless. The entire staff broke out into applause.  Yes, there we were, in Joe Fresh at 10:30pm on a Sunday, having a walk-off.

We headed out, still on a mission to get to the rooftop bar. (Bear in mind, that at this point, no one had had anything to drink yet....)  As we passed Lord & Taylor, E noticed that one of thebig display windows had no glass in it. Naturally, this was an opportunity to pretend to be a manneqin in the window of one of the high- end department stores on Fifth Ave.  E and K both climbed into the window to pose, and A and I took photos and lured unsuspecting tourists towards the window, where E and K jumped and scared the shiit out of people. HI-LARIOUS. Yes, I am 31 years old, and found this funny.

We eventually made it to the rooftop bar and had the best time, making it home sober by 1am. The moral of this story is that having fun is a state of mind, and the 30's can kiss my ass. A little drinky-drinky can be a good time for sure, but so can being sober with people that don't take themselves too seriously and enjoy the hell out of life.  I can be 30-something, with responsibilities, and still have a good time.  I hope that NEVER changes.

My czyk list today only contained one item:

Relax and recover from the weekend.

Done and done.

5/20/12 Czyk List

As per usual, I wasn't able to check everything off my list yesterday. I was overtaken by updating my goodreads bookshelves, catching up on Facebook gossip, and watching back-to-back episodes of My Ghost Story. I did manage to get in a 5 mile hike with the dog, which my ever-expanding ass surely thinks me for.

Today's agenda is short, but critical.  Living in an apartment in Queens has presented a few challenges that I have never had to face before. The first of which is sparce nearby parking and the prerequisite planning before bringing any heavy or large purchase home. There are metered parking spaces in front of my building, but because I live on a relatively busy street, the spaces are almost always full.  The "Queens way" is to simply double-park people in, turn on your four-ways, and do whatever the hell you want, but my constant fear of someone running into my car (not a far stretch, by the way), have prevented me from participating in this practice.

 In any case, we ran out of dog food this week, so I went and picked up our regular 35 pound bag from Petco. Usually, I make J lug the bag back to the apartment, but since he was out of town for work, that wasn't an option.  There were no metered spots in front of the building, and traffic was a bit too heavy to even consider the double-park manuver. So I went to plan B.....which was to leave the dog food in the car for as long as it took to either secure a spot in front, or have J home to carry it in. It has now been 3 days.  Don't worry, my dog has eaten, thanks to the Mexican grocery on the corner which happens to carry a moderate selection of dog food. I am sure my dog is thrilled to have enjoyed an entire weekend of junkfood for dogs.

Today's Checklist:

*  Bring in dog food
*  Do laundry (down to 2 towels)
*  Clean the apartment
*  Funfetti cake??
*  Finally introduce myself to the guy that own the Mexican grocery
*  Come up with more interesting damn checklist items. B-O-R-I-N-G

Isn't there a saying about doing something every day that scares you? Yeah, double parking in Queens scares me, but I am trying to think bigger here.....

5/19/12 Czyk list

** This Blog hiatus, brought to you in part by an infertility-induced meltdown**

Wow. Epic fail already.  Within a week of starting to blog, I wind up locked to my couch wearing sweatpants, eating cookies, and watching entirely too much bad reality TV.

As I mentioned in my intro post, J and I are seemingly dealing with infertility. I guess "seemingly" isn't the right word, because it has officially been diagnosed (as Unexplained Infertility), but I can't really wrap my head around it sometimes so I just don't talk about it. Andplusalso, the stigma behind Unexplained Infertility is that "nothing is really wrong" because medical testing cannot determine the cause of the infertility. For those interested, here is the summary. 

Long story short, we are just starting our 17th month/14th cycle of trying to get pregnant, and after all necessary testing, and working with a Reproductive Endocrinologist who is absolutely fantastic, we were told that our chances of conceiving naturally at this point were about 4% each month, and that our best chance of getting pregnant would be through IUI. A very few select close friends know about this, as well as a couple of close family members, but because I had some less-than-understanding reactions earlier on when we were undergoing testing, I have been gun-shy about sharing.  On one hand, it is nobody's business, but on the other hand, there is already such a stigma around infertility, I feel like being open about it might help combat that.

So the other night, in the midst of a conversation with my mom about when I would be able to go back to my hometown (1200 miles from where I am now), I decided to bite the bullet and tell her that it was somewhat riding on what happened with IUI, etc. because of both the time and expense associated with that. After spilling my guts, her response was "Ok, well good luck with that." OUCH. Not sure what I was expecting, but not that. This was followed by a long argument with J about if we are really ready to move forward, how he refuses to believe that anything is actually wrong (double OUCH), and on and on with the end result being me feeling super alone and wanting to remain in a blanket cocoon with ice cream and an iPod full of sad music. 

I should add that this has all been paired with the fact that after 2 awesome interviews with a great organization, and the request for availability for a 3rd interview..........I got dropped like a hot potato. No phone call, no response to my follow-up message, nothing. I don't understand why they would tell me they wanted to bring me back for an additional interview, get a list of good days, and then never call. Mind = blown. I guess I am still hanging on to a shred of hope, since I really want this job, but obviously that is probably foolish. It has been over a week and a half since my last interview.

I wish my checklist for today were more exciting, but here it is:

*  Do the laundry that hasn't been done all week.
*  Clean the apartment.
*  Walk the dog.
*  Try to stave off the drinking shits that are bound to surface after last night. :(
*  Job search.

Awesome Saturday, if I say so myself. ;)

5/7/12 Czyk list

Well, my checklist yesterday was a bit of a fail.  I made it to the mall, but cleaning and interview prep didn't happen.  I was too busy watching Long Island Medium and sipping on cake flavored vodka and pineapple juice. :(  FWIW, I almost never drink....I can count on one hand the number of drinks I've had in the last year.....until I found the cake flavored vodka. Oy vey. It is so good!

In any case, my mall trip was a good one. I got 2 work appropriate tops....neither of which I can find pictures for, so unfortunately I can't give you any opportunity to talk into wearing something else. ;)  I usually go pretty conservative with an interview suit, and throw some personality into the top or jewelry. I feel like if I go too conservative it would be false advertisement, but if I show too much personality, I might scare them away. ;) I also took my OCD/Type A self for a spin by doing a practice run to the building where my interview is.  In NYC, it is pretty critical to scope out the nearest Metro stations, Google-map the building, and Hopstop  directions, or you could be up a creek without a  paddle.  Half of the buildings don't even have addresses, and all I needed was to be sitting on a curb crying somewhere because I couldn't find my interview.  All is well with the world however, I found it, and am ready to roll!

Today's checklist was pretty short, but I checked everything off!

Spend all day trying to get the husband home from OOT
Wash towels
Watch Ghost Whisperer
Take dog to daycare
Practice Interview
Try to determine the source of the foul odor in my living room

My husband went on a little weekend excursion with some friends from back home, and because my parents are awesome and worked for the airlines for over 40 years, we have some pretty phenomenal travel benefits.  That said, we always fly standby, and unfortunately today, standby wasn't cutting it.  Every last flight out was oversold, and there were dozens of people waiting on standby. I literally spent about 6 hours trying to re-list flights, find long-shot openings re-routed through other cities, and get the dear boy on a flight.  Alas, the saving grace was a delayed flight to Memphis that had several seats open up due to the late takeoff. He didn't make it home tonight, but honestly, who doesn't want to spend the night in Memphis, home of The King? He'll be home tomorrow, and I am pretty stoked.

Finally however, while I tried to determine the source of the foul odor in my living room,  I was not able to nail it down.  For now, I am blaming the dog. :(

5/6/12 Czyk List

• Morning Poop
• Prepare for Job Interview
• Mall
• Clean Apartment
• Download Smut Novel
• Daydream about Jake Gyllenhall

As you can see, my day thus far has been productive. It's still early, so stop judging.

I am happy to report that I have a job interview this week that I am actually really excited about.  As much as I wish I could get behind my husband being my sugar daddy, I am one of those weirdos that actually likes to work, so job search, I must.  I was really stoked when I got called for a 2nd interview this week. An added perk is that Steven Colbert (who I love) has a connection to the organization I would like to work for.  If you haven't seen this clip from Friends with Candy, you must watch! In an effort to impress the higher-ups, today I am off to the mall to try to piece together a look worthy of an important interview.  Keeping my fingers, toes, legs, and eyes crossed that I can pull it off!

Tomorrow my husband is coming home from a trip with friends to New Orleans, city of blues, jambalaya, and the ever popular boobs-for-beads trade. Last night I got a text message saying that it was hot down there and I can only hope that this was in reference to the weather. :)  In my attempt to not be a total failure as a stay-at-home-wife, I also need to clean, do laundry, and try to stock our refrigerator, since it currently contains only leftover Chinese food, BBQ sauce, and a bottle of Cake flavored vodka that I bought last night. :(

In closing, a visual aid, to help you daydream about Jake Gyllenhall today as well;

                                               

My Czyk List

Why hello there! If you are reading this, it is probably because you are sitting in your sweats on a Saturday, maybe drinking coffee, watching bad TV, and feeling a bit bored with the direction your day is going.  I am here to tell you that this blog will not help turn your day around. :P

I overuse emoticons. I use swears as nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. I judge people that drive Hummers. I talk freely about poop. I cry watching YouTube videos.  I know at least 15 different names for the vagina.  And I am an open book.

So why the Czyk List?

When I got married almost 5 years ago, I had this spectacular 5-year plan all laid out, which, I can safely say, has gone to shit. While, in all fairness, I did scratch a few things off the list, I can't say that I was remotely close to successful.  What is it that they say about the best-laid plans??  This was my checklist: 

• Buy House
• Finish Grad School
• Get dog
• Find Awesome Job
• Have Baby
• Take Yearly Vacations

This is what WASN'T on my checklist, that has subsequently been checked off:

• Move accross the country
• Live in a small apartment in a big city
• Find terrible job that made me want to barf on a daily basis
• Quit said job, and be unemployed
• Be infertile

So here I am, 5 years later, taking things a day at a time, and creating new checklists as I go. To make things a little more interesting, I am hereby taking requests for items to put on my checklist.  When applicable, I will post photos of your suggestions being checked off my list. Thanks for subjecting yourself to the black hole that is my life!

Note: For the sake of clarification, my blog title "Czyk List" is a nod to my spectacularly Polish last name, not a horrific spelling error.